Thursday, February 24, 2005

Now we can all sleep better at night....

Just wanted all to know that I was wrong about my ex 'I'm-so-tortured-poet' boyfriend...turns out he did include an ode to moi in the form of a work that laments my inevitable descent into hell. Nice.

In other news, returning to college following a fifteen year hiatus has proved to be humbling in the least. Seems I'm not as smart as I remembered and all that cockiness and self-importance of my twenties was, well, just that. I'm having to study my ass off and because I was also sure that I was an excellent writer, I'm an English major who's shocked to find that it takes me a good three days effort to turn out an essay, research paper, etc., that's worthy of a generous B. That being said, just this past week I received feedback from two different professors who described my work as excellent and even outstanding. Really? That feels good but it certainly doesn't negate the fact that it took blood, sweat and tears to achieve their praise. This shit is hard!

On the plus side, the college experience this go around is certainly more fulfilling as I feel it is not merely a means to an end. I remember being seriously disillusioned with the establishment...having to earn a degree in order to get a job in order to make the money in order to buy the things.... I had an affinity for Thoreau (even though I couldn't get through Walden for the life of me) and dishearteningly thought I was just a part of the herd...that we were all brainwashed, missing the boat, wasting our lives, selling out.

I still fantasize about living a simple life....running away to the mountains, living off the land, armed with nothing but an endless supply of books and something to scribble my horrible prose on. The reality is that now that I'm a parent of two, it's no longer all about me and if I'm honest with myself, I'm not the nature goddess I like to imagine. Some friends have a lovely home out in the country that boasts FLYING roaches the size of your middle finger. I kid you not. I just can't see myself hangin up close and personal with things of the buzzing, creeping-crawling persuasion. Just as a sidenote, I am certain that I alone figured out that you can kill wasps, large spiders, and yes, even the occasional roach armed with nothing more than a can of Lysol. You rid your home of unwanted pests and at the same time eliminate 99.9% of germs in the said pest's vicinity.

Hey, is it me or do you look a little green? Thanks for all the birthday wishes and the ooohhs and aaahhhs over my goodies....it was a really good one. Oh, you do look so cute when you are filled with envy. Well, not to rub it in or anything but, guess what? Go ahead and ask me. My "fiance" and I are skipping town on Saturday morning to embark on a romantic spa weekend. We've got a fabulous room booked at a lodge complete with a Roman tub, a scheduled couple's massage, time to hang out in the jacuzzi and linger poolside, reservations for a romantic candlelight dinner, and a check out time of 11 the next morning. Sunday promises a late lunch followed by a little shopping and a four hour drive back home to our girls who we will undoubtedly be missing terribly at that point. I think the kidlets are more excited about our going away than we are as they have their own fun weekend ahead of them. Aunt L is coming over for a sleepover and the promise of a trip to the movies, dinner at their favorite Chinese place and pizza on Sunday--J keeps asking how much longer til we leave. It's times like these that I feel so loved.

What else? Oh, so I'm still on the fence about my new therapist. We have only had two sessions thus far but he made me cry the last go around and so if nothing else, he's been quick to figure out what buttons to push. There's that damn humility rearing it's ugly head again! Just when I was certain that all I needed to accomplish was to tie up some loose ends, I discover there are a lot more hibernating spots that have unraveled and can't be ignored at the risk of the whole f-ing thing falling apart. S and I have only met with our couple's counselor once as we aren't afforded a whole lot of flexibility with S's work schedule. We are working out the kinks and so hopefully we can commit to at least two sessions a month.

Hey, this will make you feel better. The first weekend in March will find me rubbing elbows with hundreds (?) of screaming, preteen fans of AshleeSimpson. Yep, K and I will be crusin down to Chicago in just days. Shoot, that doesn't give me much time to track down the Nexium t-shirt I am so gonna wear. Maybe I will get lucky and Ashlee will be stricken with an extreme case of acid reflux and we will get to just hang out at the hotel and nap by the pool. I'll say it again...I am the coolest mom ever and I really, really love my daughter.

To gain more points as coolest mom ever...Green Day is coming to St Louis in May and we got tickets! How my child gracefully hopped, skipped and jumped from Ashlee Simpson to Green Day within a matter of weeks, I don't know. She seems to think that by caking on black eyeliner it somehow brings her closer to her version of God...Billie Joe. It goes without saying that I had to explain to her that the energy at the Ashlee Simpson concert and that of the Green Day concert would be quite a bit different. At least I won't feel as ancient at this concert. Now that K has discovered that the lead singer of Green Day has a house in Berkeley, she's ready to move back to California. Not to put the cart too far ahead of the horse, but it could happen....another six years or so.

Of course, my four year old J wants to go to the Green Day concert too. She recognizes Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre and rocks out to their songs on the radio. Just the other day, she was hard at work on a crayon drawing of the band. Here's a tidbit of dinner conversation:

J: I'm gonna go to a Green Day Concert too

K: J, you can't go. You are too little. You would be the youngest person there.

J: K, don't break my heart.

K and I having a good laugh.

J: I'm serious. My stomach already hurts.

That's my J. Very literal that girl is.

2 Comments:

Blogger Philip said...

okay, so the Lodge thing that you're doing right now? Totally jealous. Totally.

You'll have a blast at Green Day. Honestly.

And school...if it was easy, it would be no fun. You are supposed to be challenged! It's supposed to be work!

Personal growth...

8:51 AM  
Blogger dark_one said...

My name is John Diamond and i would like to show you my personal experience with Nexium.

I am 58 years old. I have bee taking Nexium on and off for 2 years. For the last 3 months I have been taking 1-40mg daily. I have been cycling for 10 years riding avg. of 150 miles a week. I noticed this year I had no energy. Was riding 4 to 5 times a week and could hardly go. A fellow rider told me last week about the vitimin B absorbtion problem and other side effects he had from Nexium. I quit the Nexium last week and I could really tell the differance in my energy level. I was riding regularly and watching what I ate but could not see a weight loss. Now I see that others are having the same problems. I had never had the itchy rectum problem in my life untill a couple of months ago, when I started back on the Nexium on a regular basis.

I have experienced some of these side effects-
Fatigue, weight gain, itchy rectum

I hope this information will be useful to others,
John Diamond

Nexium Side Effects

11:29 PM  

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