Thursday, February 24, 2005

Now we can all sleep better at night....

Just wanted all to know that I was wrong about my ex 'I'm-so-tortured-poet' boyfriend...turns out he did include an ode to moi in the form of a work that laments my inevitable descent into hell. Nice.

In other news, returning to college following a fifteen year hiatus has proved to be humbling in the least. Seems I'm not as smart as I remembered and all that cockiness and self-importance of my twenties was, well, just that. I'm having to study my ass off and because I was also sure that I was an excellent writer, I'm an English major who's shocked to find that it takes me a good three days effort to turn out an essay, research paper, etc., that's worthy of a generous B. That being said, just this past week I received feedback from two different professors who described my work as excellent and even outstanding. Really? That feels good but it certainly doesn't negate the fact that it took blood, sweat and tears to achieve their praise. This shit is hard!

On the plus side, the college experience this go around is certainly more fulfilling as I feel it is not merely a means to an end. I remember being seriously disillusioned with the establishment...having to earn a degree in order to get a job in order to make the money in order to buy the things.... I had an affinity for Thoreau (even though I couldn't get through Walden for the life of me) and dishearteningly thought I was just a part of the herd...that we were all brainwashed, missing the boat, wasting our lives, selling out.

I still fantasize about living a simple life....running away to the mountains, living off the land, armed with nothing but an endless supply of books and something to scribble my horrible prose on. The reality is that now that I'm a parent of two, it's no longer all about me and if I'm honest with myself, I'm not the nature goddess I like to imagine. Some friends have a lovely home out in the country that boasts FLYING roaches the size of your middle finger. I kid you not. I just can't see myself hangin up close and personal with things of the buzzing, creeping-crawling persuasion. Just as a sidenote, I am certain that I alone figured out that you can kill wasps, large spiders, and yes, even the occasional roach armed with nothing more than a can of Lysol. You rid your home of unwanted pests and at the same time eliminate 99.9% of germs in the said pest's vicinity.

Hey, is it me or do you look a little green? Thanks for all the birthday wishes and the ooohhs and aaahhhs over my was a really good one. Oh, you do look so cute when you are filled with envy. Well, not to rub it in or anything but, guess what? Go ahead and ask me. My "fiance" and I are skipping town on Saturday morning to embark on a romantic spa weekend. We've got a fabulous room booked at a lodge complete with a Roman tub, a scheduled couple's massage, time to hang out in the jacuzzi and linger poolside, reservations for a romantic candlelight dinner, and a check out time of 11 the next morning. Sunday promises a late lunch followed by a little shopping and a four hour drive back home to our girls who we will undoubtedly be missing terribly at that point. I think the kidlets are more excited about our going away than we are as they have their own fun weekend ahead of them. Aunt L is coming over for a sleepover and the promise of a trip to the movies, dinner at their favorite Chinese place and pizza on Sunday--J keeps asking how much longer til we leave. It's times like these that I feel so loved.

What else? Oh, so I'm still on the fence about my new therapist. We have only had two sessions thus far but he made me cry the last go around and so if nothing else, he's been quick to figure out what buttons to push. There's that damn humility rearing it's ugly head again! Just when I was certain that all I needed to accomplish was to tie up some loose ends, I discover there are a lot more hibernating spots that have unraveled and can't be ignored at the risk of the whole f-ing thing falling apart. S and I have only met with our couple's counselor once as we aren't afforded a whole lot of flexibility with S's work schedule. We are working out the kinks and so hopefully we can commit to at least two sessions a month.

Hey, this will make you feel better. The first weekend in March will find me rubbing elbows with hundreds (?) of screaming, preteen fans of AshleeSimpson. Yep, K and I will be crusin down to Chicago in just days. Shoot, that doesn't give me much time to track down the Nexium t-shirt I am so gonna wear. Maybe I will get lucky and Ashlee will be stricken with an extreme case of acid reflux and we will get to just hang out at the hotel and nap by the pool. I'll say it again...I am the coolest mom ever and I really, really love my daughter.

To gain more points as coolest mom ever...Green Day is coming to St Louis in May and we got tickets! How my child gracefully hopped, skipped and jumped from Ashlee Simpson to Green Day within a matter of weeks, I don't know. She seems to think that by caking on black eyeliner it somehow brings her closer to her version of God...Billie Joe. It goes without saying that I had to explain to her that the energy at the Ashlee Simpson concert and that of the Green Day concert would be quite a bit different. At least I won't feel as ancient at this concert. Now that K has discovered that the lead singer of Green Day has a house in Berkeley, she's ready to move back to California. Not to put the cart too far ahead of the horse, but it could happen....another six years or so.

Of course, my four year old J wants to go to the Green Day concert too. She recognizes Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre and rocks out to their songs on the radio. Just the other day, she was hard at work on a crayon drawing of the band. Here's a tidbit of dinner conversation:

J: I'm gonna go to a Green Day Concert too

K: J, you can't go. You are too little. You would be the youngest person there.

J: K, don't break my heart.

K and I having a good laugh.

J: I'm serious. My stomach already hurts.

That's my J. Very literal that girl is.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Happy Birthday To Me!

Here's the thing. My birthday is the day after Valentines Day and so I usually get gypped. The men in my life have always taken advantage of their good fortune and given me two-two-gifts-in-one---you know, one card, one gift, that says I love you and oh, by the way, happy birthday too.

Well, not this year!! My sweetie did it up right. It all started on Friday night when he arranged for a sitter, we got all spiffy, went out to dinner and grown-up drinks and finished the evening off by snuggling up in the theater and watching Million Dollar Baby. At the restaurant, he surprised me with a card that explained I was to receive one gift for the next four five day Valentine and birthday celebration. Now, that's what I'm talkin about. He then presented me with my first gift:

Saturday morning I woke up, rubbed the sleepies out of my eyes, pulled on the hubbies baggy t-shirt, and stumbled to answer the front door. Who the hell rings your doorbell at 9AM on a Saturday morning? Glad you asked:

Cleanliness is next to godliness:

Day three of the valibirthday celebration was still in full swing. Guys, wanna know the real way to a woman's heart? Pay someone else to clean her toilets, mop her floors, and exterminate the dust bunnies. I checked my email on Sunday to find an ecard waiting for me with the news that I am now the ecstatic recipient of a bimonthly visit from a cleaning service. Woo-freakin-hoo!

Only a little spoiled:

So, how does one top a box of Godiva truffles, a dozen gorgeous, long stemmed, red roses, the gift of having someone else clean your toilets, and a heartfelt, seriously guaranteed to get your groove on cd compilation?

S wrapped up my valibirthday celebration by arranging someone to cover him at the hospital so that he could drive the 90 miles over to my part of town to share my special day with me. He apologetically offered up this to me:

Him: I'm not promising anything as far as my cake baking ability goes

Me: Oh, I'm sure it's yummy. You used a mix, no? *He knows my all time favorite cake is Super Moist Yellow Cake Mix topped with store bought Milk Chocoalte Frosting*

Him: Yeah, but I'm sure there is even a way to mess that up

Me: Cutting into the cake only to be met with some serious resistance as the knife hit the center What the hell?

Him: laughing You might have to get a little messy to get in there and find out what's going on

Me: Heart beating a little faster...You baked something into the cake?

Look what was excavated: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't stop smiling.

Friday, February 04, 2005


There are few things that rock my world more than the high I get from scoring a great deal/bargain. I have been on a roll the last couple of weeks...check me out:

*Copy-cat, wanna-be Pottery Barn desk that I had been coveting purchased at Target on clearance for $98 due to its box having seen better days...Woo-Hoo!

*Adorable, Esprit, powder blue raincoat originally priced at $110, got it for $34 at Marshall's

*100%, so soft I have gone to heaven, cashmere sweater for $40...thank you TJ Maxx

*Remember those foil wrapped Lindt Santa's? *insert me blushing here* 75% off baybee! Bought 24 pieces and as soon as I cashed out, wished I had snatched up the rest.

*Cuddly soft, slipper socks, 50% off...if you don't own several pairs of these, get yourself to Target and promptly right what is so obviously wrong with your world. They are like orgasms for your feet. Seriously, these are so awesome that while I briefly stepped away from my cart to peruse the greeting cards, a woman actually tried to lift mine from my cart! Caught red handed, she was all like, "Oh, I'm this your cart? I thought this merchandise had just been abandoned"...what the hell ever! Back off biatch...slowly...slowly...step away from the cart. OK, not really. I was kind enough to point her in the direction of the endcap where I had generously left two pair.